From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
