I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
