Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
