It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
