just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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