If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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