Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
