last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
