His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
