and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
