dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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