Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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