I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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