I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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