Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize