i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
