the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
