Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
