ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
