Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
