People in love make me want to vomit
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
