He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
