if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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