the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i think i have two assholes
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
