I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you would pick up someone in the library
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize