I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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