What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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