But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
