By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
