Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
