Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize