the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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