It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
