sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
