the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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