party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
