he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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