you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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