omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
