i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
