You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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