and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I believe in your delicious
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
