You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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