theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
