You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
