It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
