ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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