How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize