Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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