how can u be prego again
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
