Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize