I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
