Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
