So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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