I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
