Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
