Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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