Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
