I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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