"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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