you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
