this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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