He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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