How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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