I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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