I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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