Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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