dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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